Mentally Yelling

Why the hell can't she listen to me?
She can say whatever she wants but I have no right to talk.
If she says something that hurts me I have no right to feel hurt but if I say something that hurts her then everything falls apart.
Why is she like that?
And why do I feel hurt whenever she says those things? It's not the first time that we argue like this so why can't my heart get used to this and not feel anything at all.

I don't want to feel like this...

The time that never stops...

I've never felt as happy as last week.

That week seemed like a dream and now when I look back it seems like it was ages ago.

Now I'm feeling like this, empty and sad because I can't be with him anymore. Can't see him in real.
I don't have him near me.

*Sigh*
But... what about it? Really... I think that maybe it's stupid of me to think like that.
I'm being silly. I shouldn't be sad.
Of course I wasn't 100% fine with a distant relationship before (who is anyway) but I was happy.
Everyday was an exciting day just because I knew I could talk with him everyday and that we loved each other.
Well, nothing changed.
We can still talk and it's not like we won't meet again.
I'm going to visit him in February so until then I'll be happy to be able to talk with him because it's still time that we have together.

Wild Mind

I've been feeling super happy these days... even right now and I want to believe that I'll be happy the next days as well.
Happiness is not the only emotion that I've been feeling though.
Anxiety, curiosity, nervousness and fear. It's a mix of all that. It's kind of strange.
Well, it's normal to feel anxiety and curiosity about the next days but nervousness and fear I think it's kind of silly. At least fear, but I can't stop feeling like that.
I'm happy in a moment and then in the other I'm asking myself "But what if...?".
I have so many questions with "If this...If that...".
I'm afraid of his thoughts and reactions.
Hm... but if I believe in myself then I should believe in him as well.
I don't actually have any reason to not trust in him.

I want to trust.
To believe that nothing will change. That the feelings will stay the same.
I want to live the present moment so I will forget those fears.

Songs that are full of feelings

I was listening some songs that I used to hear some years ago and I started to feel nostalgic and sad and all the feelings I felt when I heard that songs at that time.
I remembered the places and what I used to do when I was listening to those songs.
It's strange how they keep our feelings of the moment we heard it.
It's like the song absorbed all those emotions.
Be them happy or sad those songs kept everything.

How much can someone like another person?

I've been worried about something that might be silly but, well, it worries me anyway...

How much can someone like another person? Can it be enough to like even someone imperfections?

My answer to that questions is yes, I can like someone so much that even their imperfections are good things to me. So I wonder if there are other people that think like me.

People say "That if a person can't take a chance and see past the imperfections or flaws that we have, they simply never get to know the real person inside.", but what if it's the other way around?
What if they know and like the person's personality but then they see their imperfections?
Will all those feelings disapear?

I don't have straight teeth, that's my imperfection, but my friends have fun with me anyway, they seem to like to be around me, they call me cute also xD

I love to laugh and I wont stop just because of that so I'm still who I am even though I don't have straight teeth. It's not like this can't be fixed, I just can't afford it right now.

But will I ever find someone that likes me for who i am?

Hm... lots of questions and it doesnt matter how hard I think about it I can't find anwers for them...